Mother’s Day. The absurdity of taking one day per year to appreciate the notion of motherhood notwithstanding, it’s an opportunity to consider the impact of mothering in your world and in the world in general.
At Hestia we hold a special reverence for moms that’s not reserved for those who have children. We see every woman as part of the legion of caregivers, nurturers, peace-spreaders, inspirers, teachers, examples, stewards and lovers of humanity that enables our species to thrive and our planet to survive. We’re here to celebrate you for what you do, and to remind you that we have your back.
In honor of the traditional Mother’s Day holiday celebrated here in the United States, we asked an incredible woman who happens to be the mother of four to answer a few questions about mothering. Anne Pillsbury is in awe of moms to the extent that she created a business solely to serve them. She’s a coach, speaker and facilitator who knows a thing or two about navigating overwhelm and practicing resilience in service to pursuing your dreams, and helps other moms do the same.
Thank you, Anne, for the work you do!
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Anne, what does being a mother mean to you?
I come from a legacy of powerful mothers who dedicated themselves to raising their families and creating, beautiful, loving homes for gathering family together. I always admired them and the only thing I was sure of growing up was that I wanted to be a mom. I have been incredibly blessed. Like my mother and my grandmothers, I have four beautiful, healthy, children, but my life looks very different then the women who came before me. My greatest wish for my children is that they are strong and confident. What I didn’t understand is that your children can’t have what you don’t and confidence was always a challenge for me.
I had so many messages of who I was “supposed” to be and a straitjacket of perfectionism that kept me from exploring options. My journey in motherhood has been about letting go of all that I “expected” life to look like, and re-inventing it according to my values. Courage. Compassion. Connection. This is what I want for my children. Each day I wake up and ask myself “How I can I model these values for my children?” It is this question that inspires me to dare tp dream, to push my boundaries, to create a life fueled by my desires. Life has gotten pretty exciting around here!
What does "mothering ourselves" look like?
Mothers are infinitely loving, compassionate and supportive to everyone but themselves. It breaks my heart again and again when I see moms questioning themselves, beating themselves up, criticizing their looks or their mothering. It is a particularly sensitive area for me because I struggle with this mightily. My inner-critic has been a brutal partner for most of my life. What I learned, however, is that the warm, kind mother I am is not reserved only for my children. I can access her as well.
How do you access your “inner-mother”?
It begins with simply being aware that she is available to you and then calling her in when needed. Awhile back I was on a retreat doing some spontaneous dancing and I kept finding myself rocking back and forth, hugging myself. I realized I wanted comfort. My inner mother was nurturing me like I had nurtured all my babies, and she knew exactly what I needed at that moment. This was a profound realization for me and now that we’ve been introduced, I call upon her. Sometimes I catch myself driving myself so hard that all of a sudden in the middle of Target I am tearing up for no apparent reason. I will pause and ask myself. “What’s going on?” I hear an inner voice compassionately saying, “Oh Honey, you are running too hard, you are depleted. Get out for a walk, take a nap whatever it takes, but STOP running.” I’ve learned to listen.
Where can we look for guidance on honoring the mother within?
Our mother within is dying to tell us how she’d like to be honored, but we need to give her a moment to speak. Take five minutes today to ask her. I know your life is full and things are crazy. When are you going to get 5 minutes? You won’t. Take them. My best alone time happens to be in the car. Before you dash into the grocery, or when you get home from work, turn off the engine and sit quietly. Take five slow deep breaths. Feel into your body, let tensions and thoughts go and ask, “How can I best honor myself today?” Capture whatever immediately comes to the top of your head uncensored.
Anne Pillsbury is a change catalyst for moms who are ready for their next chapter, even if they don't know exactly what that looks like. A mother of four, Anne launched her career as a coach and marketing communications specialist after thirteen years of being a full-time mom. Come visit her online home annepillsburycoaching.com and get her Emergency Resilience Cheat sheet -7 tips to help you keep your momentum when life has gone sideways.
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