Why I Retreat, by Cynthia Perkins

Recently, I happened upon this quote from John Ruskin’s Modern Painters: “The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something….To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion, all in one.”

For a number of years, I have practiced a type of meditation called Vispassana, which is often translated as “insight” meditation.  I like thinking of it that way – as seeing inside myself. While any time period spent in any type of contemplative practice enhances such insight, I feel I have greatly benefited from the clarity I’ve found in longer retreats.

I try to keep up a regular practice at home, but I know by physically removing myself from my home and the relationships, routines, and tasks that fill my daily life, my mind is able to settle more readily and deeply. It’s as if I spend most of my time splashing about in the shallows of a large body of water where it is turbulent and murky. Retreating is like slowly wading out and gently sinking below the surface waves, further and further down where things get very quiet and still and clear. Here on the floor of this ocean, with the silt all settled, I can experience myself, feel my body, and see my habitual thought patterns and emotional responses with such precious clarity.

Over the years, I’ve attended a number of 3-10 day silent residential retreats. Usually it takes at least a couple of days to drift downward into the deep.  But, sure enough, the long stretches of meditation, the serenity of the retreat center and its routines, and the withdrawal of the need to attend to the outside world begins to work its magic.

And there’s another magical component that blossoms in being surrounded by like-minded people. Even though we’re all doing our own things, maybe not talking or even making eye contact with each other, I still feel a strong communal support among the attendees. Even while doing my own work in these retreats, I find validation and inspiration by being among people who, like me, recognize the value of contemplation, the value of seeing life clearly.